WEBVTT 1 00:00:18.545 --> 00:00:20.885 Hey, it's Rachel Cook, your Modern Metaphor. 2 00:00:21.305 --> 00:00:23.685 I'm the founder of Lead Above Noise, where we help leaders 3 00:00:24.205 --> 00:00:26.645 activate performance without sacrificing humanity. 4 00:00:27.755 --> 00:00:29.845 This month we're diving deep into burnout, 5 00:00:30.345 --> 00:00:32.965 what's really causing it, how we're failing to fix it, 6 00:00:33.105 --> 00:00:34.445 and what we can finally start 7 00:00:34.445 --> 00:00:36.245 to do differently to change the tide. 8 00:00:37.315 --> 00:00:39.765 This is part two of a four part series, 9 00:00:39.985 --> 00:00:42.885 and today we're talking about the impossible job 10 00:00:42.885 --> 00:00:44.325 that we have handed managers 11 00:00:44.785 --> 00:00:46.565 and why it's time to rewrite the role. 12 00:00:47.465 --> 00:00:50.965 Before we dig in, if you've already seen burnout happening 13 00:00:50.965 --> 00:00:53.365 on your team or you're feeling it in your own bones, 14 00:00:53.915 --> 00:00:57.565 head over to lead above noise.com/burnout. 15 00:00:57.945 --> 00:00:59.805 You'll find tools, workshops, 16 00:00:59.805 --> 00:01:02.485 and ways to bring this conversation into your organization 17 00:01:02.825 --> 00:01:04.045 in a way that actually sticks. 18 00:01:04.865 --> 00:01:07.565 So I'm getting ready to ship my first kiddo off 19 00:01:07.565 --> 00:01:09.645 to college in a few months, which has 20 00:01:09.645 --> 00:01:10.925 me tripping down memory lane. 21 00:01:11.105 --> 00:01:13.485 You know, looking at old pics, it's funny, 22 00:01:13.505 --> 00:01:16.285 but in so many of the shots, when my girls were tiny, 23 00:01:16.825 --> 00:01:17.885 you know what wasn't tiny? 24 00:01:18.705 --> 00:01:21.805 The bag I used to carry with me, you know, the one full 25 00:01:21.805 --> 00:01:24.845 of diapers and snacks and toys and sweaters 26 00:01:25.115 --> 00:01:28.285 because it was my job to protect them from all the forms 27 00:01:28.305 --> 00:01:31.285 of discomfort, the hunger, the cold, the boredom. 28 00:01:32.095 --> 00:01:35.045 Today though, I don't even carry a bag Most days. 29 00:01:35.475 --> 00:01:37.645 I've got Apple Pay and a Chapstick in my pocket 30 00:01:37.865 --> 00:01:40.005 and I'm good to go and I feel lighter. 31 00:01:40.565 --> 00:01:42.045 I move easier through the world. 32 00:01:43.195 --> 00:01:45.485 It's not my job anymore to carry all their stuff. 33 00:01:45.835 --> 00:01:47.965 They're big kids. They can manage their needs 34 00:01:48.105 --> 00:01:50.325 and I trust that they'll ask for my help when they need it. 35 00:01:51.055 --> 00:01:54.005 Which brings us to you, managers, people, leaders, 36 00:01:54.435 --> 00:01:56.765 because I'm talking to leaders every day 37 00:01:56.985 --> 00:01:59.205 who are carrying loads, both too heavy 38 00:01:59.385 --> 00:02:01.125 and frankly not theirs to carry. 39 00:02:02.175 --> 00:02:05.365 Every day I hear leaders say things like, yeah, 40 00:02:05.405 --> 00:02:06.805 I haven't told my team about this yet. 41 00:02:06.875 --> 00:02:08.205 It's just gonna cause anxiety, 42 00:02:08.945 --> 00:02:11.045 or, I know I need to give that feedback. 43 00:02:11.255 --> 00:02:12.805 We're just such a nice culture 44 00:02:13.105 --> 00:02:14.565 and I'm afraid it won't land well. 45 00:02:15.495 --> 00:02:18.635 Or I know my team wants to know, I just haven't worked 46 00:02:18.635 --> 00:02:19.715 through all the details yet. 47 00:02:20.505 --> 00:02:23.165 And managers, when you think holding all 48 00:02:23.165 --> 00:02:25.045 of this is your job, like on top 49 00:02:25.045 --> 00:02:27.245 of your actual job, it's just too much. 50 00:02:27.985 --> 00:02:30.725 No Wonder Manager burnout is at an all time high. 51 00:02:30.725 --> 00:02:34.645 These days. You are expected to be strategy and empathy 52 00:02:34.645 --> 00:02:36.965 and productivity, clarity, inspiration, 53 00:02:37.325 --> 00:02:38.605 communication, accountability. 54 00:02:38.745 --> 00:02:42.445 You get it all while meeting deadlines and chasing KPIs 55 00:02:42.585 --> 00:02:45.605 and never dropping a ball, and we've gotta do a reset 56 00:02:45.605 --> 00:02:48.205 because this approach is not serving anybody. 57 00:02:49.465 --> 00:02:52.165 So today, let's talk about four beliefs 58 00:02:52.165 --> 00:02:53.805 that I see managers carrying 59 00:02:54.035 --> 00:02:57.285 that are making the job not just hard but unsustainable 60 00:02:57.905 --> 00:03:00.085 and actually inhibiting results 61 00:03:00.305 --> 00:03:02.475 and productivity beliefs 62 00:03:02.475 --> 00:03:04.435 that feel like part of the job but aren't. 63 00:03:04.925 --> 00:03:06.715 Let's start with belief number one 64 00:03:06.825 --> 00:03:10.275 that I am seeing managers hold, which is it is my job 65 00:03:10.335 --> 00:03:11.595 to keep my team happy. 66 00:03:12.335 --> 00:03:14.435 Listen, happiness is a nice aspiration. 67 00:03:14.735 --> 00:03:16.755 It just isn't your responsibility. 68 00:03:17.615 --> 00:03:19.635 No one's happiness but your own is. 69 00:03:20.915 --> 00:03:23.055 But when you hold yourself accountable to this, 70 00:03:23.475 --> 00:03:25.215 you start softening the truth. 71 00:03:25.675 --> 00:03:28.735 You avoid hard conversations and you water down updates 72 00:03:29.115 --> 00:03:31.055 and try to shield people from disappointment. 73 00:03:31.795 --> 00:03:33.055 You become the emotional buffer 74 00:03:33.055 --> 00:03:34.655 between your team and reality. 75 00:03:35.395 --> 00:03:37.935 It feels generous, protective, and kind. 76 00:03:38.675 --> 00:03:41.535 But over time, this gentle editing creates 77 00:03:41.605 --> 00:03:43.175 confusion and whiplash. 78 00:03:43.875 --> 00:03:46.455 It causes delays in information or action. 79 00:03:47.035 --> 00:03:50.415 It actually strips your team of opportunities to prepare for 80 00:03:50.475 --> 00:03:54.095 or to correct things, and it puts you in the exhausting 81 00:03:54.295 --> 00:03:57.215 position of constantly managing everyone's emotions on 82 00:03:57.215 --> 00:03:58.375 top of your actual work. 83 00:03:59.045 --> 00:04:01.735 Your team doesn't need you to shield them from discomfort. 84 00:04:02.205 --> 00:04:03.775 They need you to lead them through it 85 00:04:04.005 --> 00:04:05.495 with honesty and respect. 86 00:04:09.495 --> 00:04:11.755 So if you've been hesitating to deliver an update 87 00:04:11.755 --> 00:04:13.755 because you're worried it'll disappoint people, 88 00:04:14.415 --> 00:04:17.075 or you've been over apologizing for a decision that is 89 00:04:17.075 --> 00:04:20.635 outside of your control, ask yourself, am I protecting them 90 00:04:20.735 --> 00:04:23.155 or am I just carrying something that was never mine? 91 00:04:23.155 --> 00:04:26.395 To carry lead with care, but also with clarity? 92 00:04:27.175 --> 00:04:29.715 Let adults have adult reactions. It's not cold. 93 00:04:29.745 --> 00:04:30.915 It's a way to build trust. 94 00:04:32.045 --> 00:04:35.545 Belief number two is it's my job to build the plan. 95 00:04:36.455 --> 00:04:37.865 This one sneaks up quietly. 96 00:04:38.345 --> 00:04:39.985 A project or a change kicks off 97 00:04:40.405 --> 00:04:41.945 and something needs to be implemented. 98 00:04:42.045 --> 00:04:44.145 And so you start piecing together a strategy. 99 00:04:44.965 --> 00:04:47.225 You wanna be prepared and show leadership. 100 00:04:47.565 --> 00:04:50.385 You wanna think through all the details, dot your i's 101 00:04:50.385 --> 00:04:52.665 and cross your T's before starting 102 00:04:52.685 --> 00:04:53.825 to communicate with your team. 103 00:04:54.405 --> 00:04:57.625 So you stay up late, you build the plan, you communicate it, 104 00:04:58.005 --> 00:05:01.825 and then they have questions, feedback, concerns, 105 00:05:02.205 --> 00:05:04.385 and suddenly the plan needs to be revised. 106 00:05:04.685 --> 00:05:06.065 Or you realize you missed details 107 00:05:06.165 --> 00:05:07.985 or opportunities to make it stronger. 108 00:05:08.805 --> 00:05:11.665 You meant well, you wanted to figure out for them, 109 00:05:12.325 --> 00:05:14.465 but really you should figure it out with them. 110 00:05:15.135 --> 00:05:16.665 They have ideas that you don't. 111 00:05:17.015 --> 00:05:18.865 They have a vantage point that you don't. 112 00:05:19.135 --> 00:05:22.505 They can spot risks. They know what frustrates customers. 113 00:05:22.775 --> 00:05:24.585 They know which tools don't work together. 114 00:05:25.565 --> 00:05:26.945 All of their inputs are critical. 115 00:05:27.525 --> 00:05:30.385 Baking them in not only makes your plan stronger, 116 00:05:30.655 --> 00:05:33.985 more comprehensive, but it leaves them feeling invested in 117 00:05:33.985 --> 00:05:35.505 the plan that they helped you to craft. 118 00:05:36.535 --> 00:05:38.705 It's heavy and hard to build a plan alone. 119 00:05:39.205 --> 00:05:40.265 It drains your energy 120 00:05:40.285 --> 00:05:42.025 and leaves too much of theirs on the table. 121 00:05:42.815 --> 00:05:44.625 Your job isn't to show up with all the answers, 122 00:05:44.725 --> 00:05:49.105 but to co-create a path with your team to define the why 123 00:05:49.165 --> 00:05:50.585 and shape the how together. 124 00:05:51.285 --> 00:05:52.745 So if you're sitting in a plan 125 00:05:52.805 --> 00:05:55.705 or a decision that you built alone, ask yourself 126 00:05:56.165 --> 00:05:57.635 who should have been in the room sooner? 127 00:05:58.135 --> 00:05:59.875 And what is one upcoming project 128 00:05:59.965 --> 00:06:03.275 where I can invite co-creation and not just consultation? 129 00:06:04.335 --> 00:06:07.715 Belief number three is it's my job to have the answers. 130 00:06:08.795 --> 00:06:10.315 I still talk to too many leaders 131 00:06:10.655 --> 00:06:13.195 who really believe their authority comes from their team's, 132 00:06:13.195 --> 00:06:15.035 confidence in them having the answers. 133 00:06:16.075 --> 00:06:17.835 I can't get up there and shrug my shoulders. 134 00:06:17.835 --> 00:06:19.235 Someone recently said to me, 135 00:06:19.815 --> 00:06:22.395 and I get it, confidence feels like leadership, 136 00:06:22.895 --> 00:06:25.435 but confidence doesn't have to always equate to knowing. 137 00:06:26.135 --> 00:06:28.915 And when you pretend to know you cut off inquiry, 138 00:06:29.215 --> 00:06:31.155 you kill momentum and burn yourself out 139 00:06:31.215 --> 00:06:32.475 trying to maintain a front. 140 00:06:33.175 --> 00:06:34.835 You don't need to know everything. 141 00:06:35.255 --> 00:06:38.715 You need to lead the process of finding out. So try. 142 00:06:39.095 --> 00:06:40.395 Here's what we know right now. 143 00:06:40.615 --> 00:06:42.275 Here's what we're still figuring out. 144 00:06:42.615 --> 00:06:44.675 Here's how we'll make a decision when the time comes. 145 00:06:45.545 --> 00:06:47.875 This brand of transparency builds trust. 146 00:06:48.215 --> 00:06:50.755 It invites your team into the problem solving process, 147 00:06:51.295 --> 00:06:53.635 and it takes some of the pressure off your shoulders. 148 00:06:54.335 --> 00:06:56.995 So next time you feel anxious when asked something you can't 149 00:06:56.995 --> 00:06:59.155 answer, pause and try. 150 00:06:59.725 --> 00:07:00.915 Let's figure this out together. 151 00:07:01.715 --> 00:07:04.775 'cause that's leadership too. And belief number four, 152 00:07:05.515 --> 00:07:07.215 it is my job to deliver certainty. 153 00:07:07.925 --> 00:07:09.135 This one is so human. 154 00:07:09.675 --> 00:07:12.135 People crave certainty, stability, 155 00:07:12.715 --> 00:07:14.775 but craving it doesn't entitle us to it 156 00:07:15.125 --> 00:07:17.775 because these days certainty is in short supply. 157 00:07:18.155 --> 00:07:20.655 It is just our reality feeling. 158 00:07:20.675 --> 00:07:22.135 The need to apologize for that 159 00:07:22.275 --> 00:07:24.655 or even correct it is exhausting you. 160 00:07:25.755 --> 00:07:27.525 Your job isn't to predict the future. 161 00:07:27.915 --> 00:07:30.565 It's to help your team make sense of the signals around them 162 00:07:30.985 --> 00:07:33.645 and to build resilience so they're ready for whatever comes. 163 00:07:34.555 --> 00:07:37.085 That means saying, here's what's true now, 164 00:07:37.185 --> 00:07:38.525 and here's what's still evolving, 165 00:07:38.945 --> 00:07:41.405 and here's how we'll decide as things start to shift. 166 00:07:42.175 --> 00:07:44.625 This transparency gives your teams what they really need. 167 00:07:44.975 --> 00:07:46.945 It's not guarantees, but guidance. 168 00:07:47.765 --> 00:07:50.505 Not perfect answers, but clarity around what's known, 169 00:07:50.645 --> 00:07:52.465 what's not, and what is coming next. 170 00:07:53.455 --> 00:07:56.445 These beliefs are heavy and most of us didn't choose them. 171 00:07:56.625 --> 00:07:59.805 We kind of inherited them from managers who modeled them 172 00:07:59.805 --> 00:08:01.165 for us, from systems 173 00:08:01.195 --> 00:08:03.405 that reward emotional buffering over clarity. 174 00:08:03.985 --> 00:08:06.205 But when we name them, we can start to set them down. 175 00:08:07.065 --> 00:08:09.325 You do not have to carry what was never yours. 176 00:08:09.945 --> 00:08:11.405 And if you're ready to take this further, 177 00:08:11.865 --> 00:08:14.525 if you want support helping your team navigate burnout 178 00:08:14.675 --> 00:08:16.125 without sacrificing clarity 179 00:08:16.185 --> 00:08:18.285 or accountability, reach out to me. 180 00:08:18.695 --> 00:08:21.125 Shoot me an email at Rachel at Lead Above Noise 181 00:08:21.385 --> 00:08:24.605 or visit lead above noise.com/burnout. 182 00:08:25.025 --> 00:08:27.965 For more tools, insights, and information. 183 00:08:29.165 --> 00:08:31.655 Join me next week for episode three in this series 184 00:08:31.665 --> 00:08:34.095 where we will explore what it actually looks like 185 00:08:34.095 --> 00:08:36.695 to lead in a way that supports sustainability 186 00:08:36.805 --> 00:08:38.375 without sacrificing results. 187 00:08:38.525 --> 00:08:40.975 Because fixing burnout isn't about doing less. 188 00:08:41.245 --> 00:08:42.295 It's about leading differently. 189 00:08:42.825 --> 00:08:44.775 Until then, thanks so much for listening 190 00:08:44.775 --> 00:08:46.255 and have a successful week. 191 00:08:46.595 --> 00:08:48.775 Modern Mentor is a quick and Dirty Tips podcast. 192 00:08:49.365 --> 00:08:51.295 It's audio engineered by Dan Fand. 193 00:08:51.755 --> 00:08:54.015 Our director of podcasts is Brandon Getches. 194 00:08:54.355 --> 00:08:56.765 Our podcast and advertising operations specialist 195 00:08:56.785 --> 00:08:58.005 is Morgan Christensen. 196 00:08:58.505 --> 00:09:01.045 Our digital operations specialist is Holly Hutchings. 197 00:09:01.345 --> 00:09:03.965 Our marketing and publicity associate is Davina Tomlin. 198 00:09:04.265 --> 00:09:06.325 Our marketing contractor is Nathaniel Hoops.